Captain Flywheel - Gyrating Bhtch

He can't jump over buildings, He can't swim 'cross a stream
But when something's broken, He can hear the machine
To contraptions he talks, he can get in their brains
And when one malfunctions, he can feel it's pain

My blender's busted, the fan's on the fritz
Iron's gone wrong, burned my waffles to a crisp
When a machine is busted, there's no need to fear
He can always be trusted, he will always appear

He fixed my bike, he fixed my car
He fixed my radio, he sure is bizarre
He's never failed, he'll forever succeed
He'll always come through when a machine's in need

Hey, bring back my TV
Don't worry, that's Captain Flywheel, he'll have it cleaned up and smellin' sweet
What? Why would he want a broken TV?
He'll fix it, man. He's a Goddamn superhero

So look for CS scrawled over his heart
Look for that cape that's kind of falling apart
Look for those tights that got him under arrest
As superheros go, Captain Flywheel's the best