I'm Not Fucking Stupid (But I Used To)

Met her in a barroom one dreary afternoon
She was wearing low-rise hip-hugger jeans
Her thong strap was nestled in the small of her back
Butt floss descending into her crack

I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to
Let me tell you, that Bhtch can screw
Sucks dick like a Hoover, never thought I'd lose her
I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to

A cheap Tommy Hilfiger knock-off tee
I couldn't help but notice her looking at me
I introduced myself and sat right down
Slid my chair forward; her smile turned to a frown

I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to
Let me tell you, that Bhtch can screw
Sucks dick like a Hoover, never thought I'd lose her
I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to

You're nothing but a dog, don't even talk to me
Because I know you're with my friend Suzy
I looked her in the eye, said, "Baby, you got it all wrong,
Because...

I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to
Let me tell you, that Bhtch can screw
Sucks dick like a Hoover, never thought I'd lose her
I'm not fucking stupid, but I used to