I'm Not Fucking Fat Chicks No More

My ex-girlfriend was a hefty one
A biscuit shy of a metric ton
She would eat everything in sight
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner She would talk of being thinner
But she kept packing on the pounds

Oh, I’m not fucking fat chicks
No, I’m not fucking fat chicks
I’m not fucking fat chicks
no more

Even though a lot she did weigh
She broke my heart when she went away
And threw away all the love I had to give
Now it’s time to find a new one Cuz I want to have some fun
But I have to change my criteria

Oh, I’m not fucking fat chicks
No, I’m not fucking fat chicks
I’m not fucking fat chicks
no more

She can’t have a gynormous can
Or weigh as much as a van
Her waist must be smaller than the equator
So I got on match.com It just reminded me of my prom
Chick after chick was thicker than thick

And… I’m not fucking fat chicks
No, I’m not fucking fat chicks
I’m not fucking fat chicks
no more

Though fat girls are fun
And they’ll swallow your cum
I just can’t go back
to the obese