Poop Cave (The Pennsylvania Miners' Story)

Once upon a time in Somerset, PA
At the Quecreek Coal Mine, on a Wednesday
The miners headed down the shaft as they are wont to do
They could not have foreseen the coming onslaught of poo

All the miners got to work, each swung his mighty pick
But they were quickly overrun by energy kinetic
They’d hit an abandoned mine which flooded years ago
And that is how the Miners Nine were trapped by H2O

They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!
Buried in feces
A malodorous soup
They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!
A fecal coffin
For the whole mining group

Meanwhile on the surface, the rescue had begun
Experts brought from far and wide pondered what could be done
Although it was a long shot, they chose to drill a hole
Two hundred and forty feet was their lofty goal

Trapped inside the cave, each miner questioned his belief
They fought off mounting hunger with a sandwich of corned beef
They could have given up – just let their lives conclude
Instead they stuck together, although colossally screwed

They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!
Buried in feces
A malodorous soup
They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!
A fecal coffin
For the whole mining group

After seventy-seven hours, the rescuers broke through
They pulled up all the miners, expecting a “thank you”
But the miners did not meet their terms – such an ungrateful troupe
And so the rescuers put them back and filled the cave with poop

They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!
Buried in feces
A malodorous soup
They filled it with poop – POOP! POOP!
Scoop after scoop – POOP! POOP!