Brickyard the Ill-Proportioned Druid

SLIDE 7: Carl departing from Toughpaque, thinking about people (i.e. humans) giving him gifts.

The Googly-Eyed Fisherman’s words rang true to Carl. And he thought, “So soon in my journey, and already I know a part of its purpose. It is about something called Christmas.”

And then Carl suddenly understood why he received gifts each year when the days were short and the air was cold. Moreover, he realized with anguish that he had never given anybody a Christmas gift. “Alas,” he despaired, “now I know why I am called ‘Carl The Dog-Cheap Bastard’”.

SLIDE 8: Carl meeting Brickyard in Forest

The brilliant western star led Carl deep into a thick forest, and finally to a clearing within. There, he met Brickyard the Ill-Proportioned Druid, in deep meditation in front of a towering ash.

“Brickyard,” said Carl, “I have just learned of Christmas. Never have I given gifts to my loved ones. I am in despair.”

SLIDE 9: Brickyard weaves his tale in rhyme

And Brickyard said unto Carl:

Christmas is not about gifts, you see
It started when Christians abducted the tree
It once was a day to laud each shrub and stick
Not to wrap them in lights, which makes me so sick
You have done no wrong, trust the man in the hood
It’s not about giving, it’s all about wood