Boxing Day - Gyrating Bhtch

The day after Christmas is Boxing Day
The day when Santa makes Canadians pay
He busts down their doors and he steals the toys
From Canadian girls and Canadian boys

Oh Santa, welterweight Santa
Hits the Canuck, with a vicious left hook
And fills his sack with stuff
Oh Santa, welterweight Santa
Back to the pole, with the gifts he stole
Once he has enough

He won the Gold Gloves and he fought for the belt
But was forced from the ring when he ate some bad smelt
So he went into Clausing to pass the days
He watches TV while the reindeer graze

The elves and the workshop, it's all a hoax
If you don't believe, just ask Canadian folks
Their stockings are empty, the children, they cry
Everything swiped by some big, red, fat guy

Oh Santa, welterweight Santa
Kicks one in the shins, for shits and grins
And fills his sack with stuff
Oh Santa, welterweight Santa
Back to the pole, with the gifts he stole
Once he has enough

Three hundred sixty four days a year
All of Canadia has no fear
But come Boxing Day, you'll find them supine
They're only Canadians, hardly a crime

Amen.