gyrating bhtch


Boston Sessions









Well, this morning as I was driving to work
There was this minivan who kept trying to pass me
Every time I'd get going, he'd drop down beside me and try to pass
Then he'd almost hit a parked car, honk at me, and drop in behind me again
This guy was really pissing me off
So, I started going ten miles an hour next to this old lady next to me
And he really got pissed off then
He tried to go in the left turn lane to pass us both
But there was a cop sitting there, so he had to turn left
He was really not happy
That was the last I ever saw of him

Then, today on the way home from work
This asshole in a goddamn Mercedes-Benz thought he owned the road
He was driving right in the middle of the road
No one could get around; he was going fifteen miles an hour
And there were busses, cars, planes, trains...
Everyone trying to pass him; no one could do it
We just got really upset
Luckily, he finally turned left and everyone was happy

That only lasted a little while, though
Because there was an accident at the corner of...
I think it was Montrose and Western, but I'm not sure
So, we all had to, like, go around this big accident in the middle of the street
And that delayed us a long time
So, I guess the moral of that story is if you have to drive on Chicago, don't drive on Western
Because there's a bunch of dicks and people who can't drive
Now, if you're going to drive into Chicago, I really really hope you don't use the expressways, either
Because of all the construction, you just can't get anywhere
It only goes ten miles an hour

My answer: Damen

There's a lot of stop signs, some of 'em are hard to see
But Damen is a really nice street, very residential
Speed limit's only twenty-five, but there are never any cops around
So you can really go whatever you want
It's a really nice place

Now, if you don't like Damen because you're not going north-south, you're going east-west
I'd suggest Montrose, Fullerton
I mean, both of those are really good
Fullerton isn't quite as good, because you've got the median cops directing traffic
They're all over
You've got to keep going, because you've got a green light
And you're like "excuse me, can I go now?"
The light's been green for five minutes
So then the light turns yellow, the cop tells you to go
And then only three cars get through the intersection
I just think that this really just has to be changed
Just kill the cops, or just tell them to stop directing traffic
I mean, they really don't want to be out there
You can tell because they're waving you through with their middle finger
So, I think something really desperately needs to be done
Now, back to Montrose, which is a better street
Because there's no cops directing traffic
But the problem with Montrose is that there's a lot of little cross streets
With people trying to dart out in front of you
If you're not paying attention, you can end up in an accident real easy

Now, let's say you're not taking Montrose, and you're not taking Fullerton
Because you're going north-south again
And I already told you not to take Western or the expressways
You know what's good?
Lake Shore Drive
Everyone's always talking about it...
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song length: 00:04:47

song rating: 8.88

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